Vax, vax, vax — just get the vax! It’s safe, effective, and free! And you’ll only need to get four a year if you want the luxury of stepping outside of your shoebox. And it’s not even a vaccine, either — so just get it! It’s experimental and has shown to have serious acute side effects and the long term side effects are unknown — so just get it! I mean, you want your kids to be able to go to school, don’t you?